The concept of love is subjective. Do you know the difference between an objective and a subjective concept? While the former has a definite and finite outcome, the latter can have as many outcomes as possible, each being correct in it’s own way, based on a person’s beliefs. Everybody has their own meaning of love, of what they consider love to be. Sharing my subjective take on it.
During some not-so-good time in my life, while having a conversation with my friend, when she was helping me figure my way out, she asked me what I expected out of love. And that is when I realized that I actually never gave it a thought. I had been the kind of person who would always try to ensure that the other person liked me. Very late I realized that in this effort of pleasing the other person, I forgot to make my own check list, a list of qualities that I would like to have in my partner.
I am a crazy Pinterest user. And one day while scrolling Pinterest, I found a piece, and it was something which I too wanted to say, had it in my mind, but could never pen it down because the thoughts were unclear. It gave me my proper answer as to what I expected out of love.
It goes, “I am willing to compromise when it comes to many things, but not love. Not love. I’ve done that too many times and it has taught me exactly what I want from what I don’t want. And it’s not like the type of love I want is from a fairy tale, no. The love I want is a very real thing. It’s out there. And it has nothing to do with posting pictures or dropping everything to answer text messages immediately that aren’t even urgent. What I want in love is respect, even when arguments arise. I never want to cry my eyes out till I am sick because of an argument again. A love that has commitment, tenderness, laughter, playfulness, passion, morals and above all else, is always felt. Never again do I ever want to question whether or not the man that I am giving all of myself to, loves me. And never again will I entertain a man who tells me that I am asking for too much. I know what I want. What I want exists. And if one man doesn’t want to give it to me then I won’t break my head over it, he’s simply not for me.”
There is no rule-book to love, no right time or no particular situation for it to happen. It happens when it happens and you know it’s right when it ticks off all the points in your checklist. Love gives you a partner for your roller-coaster journey of life, somebody with whom you share your highest of highs and lowest of lows, somebody you want to celebrate your victories with and confide in during your failures, the one with whom you want to live the smallest and biggest dreams, a companion for life.
It fills your life with all the positive words. And yes, to keep it going, you need to make the effort that it takes; be it being honest and loyal to your partner, giving each other the required space, communicating and working on the differences, surprising them and making them feel loved and wanted. There is always a room for fights but they must always remember that it’s them vs the problem and not one vs the other.
You start your journey considering you both are equals. And that is true, you both are equals, but the journey is so long that this equal’s equation sometimes imbalances, you step back and support the other person, help them grow and they do that too when their turn comes. That is love, two equals becoming the best version of themselves with each others support… and when you find this love, you work hard on it, you fight for it and you never let them go!